And Neutral Makes Three
by Mona
Summary: Another duck shows up. Not a problem...until you consider he looks just like D.W. and Negs! Now complete.
1. A third side of the coin

"And Neutral Makes Three"  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Darkwing Duck. They are copyright Disney. The non-D.W. characters such as Neutralduck, Ruddy, and Anatina are my own creations, as is the back-story to the much-debated "Why do Darkwing and Negaduck look exactly alike?" question. This is just a matter of what-ifs and speculations. I had a lot of fun writing this, so...*tries to think of something else to say* enjoy!   
  
The sun had set in St. Canard, and Darkwing Duck was well aware of what may occur. "The Fearsome Five are going to hit the St. Canard Art Museum tonight!"   
  
Launchpad McQuack looked puzzled. "How do you figure?"   
  
"Well, there's something for all of them there." The crimefighter's gaze shifted toward the glass front doors of the museum as he steered the Ratcatcher.   
  
"Yeah...the fountains for Liquidator, the topiary bushes for Bushroot, the lighting for Megavolt, and the antique toys for Quackerjack. Hmm...I think I'm missing someone."   
  
"Negaduck probably just wants to blow the whole place up. Steady, now."   
  
Launchpad looked alarmed. "You're not gonna--" His question was answered as Darkwing drove the Ratcatcher closer to the glass entrance. He closed his eyes, expecting a crash (Not that he wasn't used to them already).   
  
Surprisingly, there was no crash. The heavy glass and steel doors parted to let the motorcycle through. The sidekick breathed a sigh of relief. "I forgot the doors were automatic."   
  
"You doubt me, the dashing and daring do-gooder, gifted with deftness and dexterity? Like I would do something as stupid--"  
  
"As showing up in the first place?" suggested another voice. This one vaguely matched Darkwing's, but with a rougher tone. The speaker turned to his four cohorts. "Don't just stand there, you knobs!"   
  
Megavolt, Bushroot, the Liquidator, and Quackerjack were about to attack when gray smoke filled the room.   
  
Everyone coughed.   
  
The smoke cleared, revealing a duck...who looked exactly like Darkwing and Negaduck, in a blue suit. He flung back his black cape. "I am the ceasefire in the battle of war and peace. I am the compromise between reason and emotion. I am Neutralduck!"   
  
"Who?" asked Launchpad.   
  
Darkwing folded his arms and pouted. "I don't know and I don't care. Nobody upstages Darkwing Duck and gets away with it!"   
  
Negaduck turned to his assistants, but saw nothing. "Cowards."   
  
Neutralduck smirked. "Looks like your comrades have deserted you."   
  
"Hey!" whined Darkwing. "I'm supposed to taunt Neggie-Weggie!"   
  
"DON'T CALL ME NEGGIE-WEGGIE!" Negaduck brandished a blowtorch. "I'll scorch both of you!" '  
  
Neutralduck yawned and pulled a fire extinguisher from the wall. The foam spurted, covering both assailant and weapon.   
  
"Drat!" Negaduck spat out a mouthful of foam. "I need a new blowtorch. And when I do, you're both gonna roast!" He vanished in a puff of red smoke.   
  
Darkwing brushed his hands. "Yep, yep, yep. All in a day's work."   
  
Launchpad agreed. "Thanks, Neutral--" He stopped short and looked around. "Where'd he go?"   
  
"He was here a second ago." Darkwing shook his head. "Never mind. Let's go home."   
  
(537 Avian Way)   
  
"Gosalyn," warned Honker in his usual sinusy voice. "Are you sure you should be looking through your dad's papers?"   
  
Gosalyn peeked through the contents of the filing cabinet. "It's mostly insurance records and other boring stuff."   
  
"May I ask why you're going in there?"   
  
"Remember our homework assignment? We had to find a newspaper at least ten years old and write a report on an article."  
  
"Couldn't you just photocopy one from the library? That's what I did."   
  
"Honk, Honk, Honk. Dad must have something far more exciting in here." Gosalyn tugged out a folder and opened it. It was filled with newspaper clippings. "Paydirt!" She pulled out the first one. "Hey, it's Dad's birth announcement in the _St. Canard Chronicle_. She scanned it and gasped. "Honk...look!"   
  
Honker read over her shoulder:   
  


"Congratulations  
to Ruddy and Anatina Mallard  
for the birth of two baby boys,  
Drake and Jake  
born on this day,   
September 7."  
  


"Dad had a _twin_?" squeaked Gosalyn.   
  
"Had a what?" came Drake's voice.   
  
Gosalyn waved the clipping in her father's face. "This! How come you never told me you had a twin brother?"   


  


"A twin brother?! Don't be absurd!"   
  
"Then explain this!"   
  
Drake snatched the birth announcement, then read it over carefully. "What? How in the world--"   
  
Launchpad joined them. "You didn't know?"   
  
"No. It's just that I've been an only child ever since I can remember. Or so I thought."   
  
Gosalyn frowned. "Dad, maybe you didn't remember Darkwing Duck visiting you, but a twin brother is pretty hard to forget."   
  
"I know!" Drake blinked. "I have one hazy memory. I think I was two or three at the time. I don't know."   
  
"What happened?" asked Honker.   
  
"Well," began Drake. "My parents put me and another duckling in a wading pool. I think the duckling could have been Jake or another unrelated person. This other guy took a bottle of mustard and led a trail of red ants into the pool, and I got bitten. I started to cry, and the other duckling burst into tears as well. Then he staggered back, and a big hole opened in the ground. He fell down the hole, screaming and that's the last thing I remember."   
  
"Red ants...how can someone so little be that cruel?" wondered Gosalyn out loud.   
  
"Dunno," replied Launchpad. "Sounds like something a young Negaduck would have done."   
  
Drake laughed. "You think Negaduck was the kid in the pool?"   


  


"Well, who else could it have been?" asked Gosalyn.  
  
Honker took his laptop computer and plugged it in. He began to rapidly type. "I'm accessing the library's database." He typed "Jake Mallard" into the search engine. A few seconds passed. "Hm...according to this missing children report, Jake Mallard disappeared on his third birthday and was never found."   
  
Drake looked shock. "I had a twin brother, and he disappeared?"   
  
"No follow ups to the report."   
  
"Why didn't my parents ever tell me?"   


  


"Why haven't I met your parents?" demanded Gosalyn. "You refer to them in the present tense, so they must still be alive."   
  
"They both are," answered Drake. "But my mother and father are a little...unorthodox."   
  
"Come on," pleaded Gosalyn. "They can't be any worse than Honker's parents."   
  
"True," agreed Drake.   
  
Honker blushed.   
  
A gleam appeared in Gosalyn's eyes. "A long lost twin brother...that'll get me an A for sure!" She ran toward the telephone book.   
  
Drake ran after her. "Don't you dare call my parents!"   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Uh...your telephone privileges are curtailed."   
  
"You're gonna have to do better than that."   
  
"Boy, DW," Launchpad commented. "And you haven't even told her about Neutralduck."   
  
"Who's that?" asked Gosalyn.   
  
"No one," replied her father through a clenched bill. "It was probably just a mirage, LP."   
  
"Both of you having the same mirage? That's doubtful," noted Honker.   
  
Drake clutched his forehead. _If the kid in the pool was Negaduck, does that mean the hole was some sort of passage to the Negaverse? And if I threw him into oblivion between the universes, is that why he reappeared here in the Normalverse...because it's where he was originally from? And who was the guy in the museum?_ He felt himself become lightheaded. Swaying for a few minutes, he flopped on the floor.   
  
Gosalyn bent over him. "Dad?"   
  
Honker skimmed his textbook. "Is it possible to lose consciousness from shock?"   
  
Launchpad pinched his friend's cheeks. "Drake! Wake up!"   
  
To be continued  


  
  
  
  



	2. Interrogations

Drake's eyelids fluttered open. "What-"  
  
Launchpad squeezed his cheeks. "Please tell me you're okay."   
  
"I will be if you stop pinching my cheeks!" Drake stood up.   
  
Gosalyn pressed on. "Dad--"   
  
"I'll think about it."   
  
"But-"   
  
"I said I'd think about it!" Drake checked the clock. "It's 6:30 and you haven't eaten! Launchpad, go out and get us something to eat."   
  
"Okie dokie."   
  
Honker turned toward the door. "I better be heading home. My mother's making spagetti and I have to make sure she doesn't put in too much tomato sauce."   
*********************************************************************  
A few minutes later, Launchpad approached Hamburger Hippo and groaned. "Long line."   
  
"Ah, yes. Quite the annoyance, right?" came a familiar voice. "There's the aggravation of waiting and the reward for said aggravation. Everything in moderation."   
  
"Neutralduck, I presume?" asked Launchpad.   
  
"You presume correctly. You know my name, but what's yours?"   
  
"I'm Launchpad McQuack. Call me LP."   
  
"Okay, LP. I want to ask you a few questions."   
  
"Like what?"   
  
"When Megavolt created the tron splitter, did it or did it not work on Darkwing Duck?"   
  
"You know about that? How?"   
  
"I believe I am the one asking the questions, Launchpad."   
  
"Sorry."   
  
"Quite all right. Just answer the question."   
  
"Um, why?"   
  
"Because I need to know!"   
  
"Why?"   
  
Neutralduck's white feathers turned red. "OK, you dragged it out of me! It's because I'm trying to figure out who I really am!"   
  
"That's a pretty good reason."   
  
"Now will you answer the question? Did the tron splitter work?"   
  
"Yes, it did. It split DW into two beings. One was really nice and the other was really mean."   
  
"Positive and negative, the normal side was only when the two beings were put back together?"   
  
"Yeah, that's right."   
  
"That's all I needed to know. Thank you."   
  
"Neutralduck?"   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Who exactly are you? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm not at liberty to discuss that...right now."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Because!" snapped Neutralduck.   
  
"Because why?" inquired the pilot.   
  
"Because I said so!" The mysterious duck yanked his grey fedora down, then stomped off.   
********************************************************************************************************  
"It has to be Colonel Mustard in the Library with the electric cord," declared Megavolt. He, Quackerjack, Bushroot, and the Liquidator were playing Clue at one of St. Canard's many abandoned warehouses.   
  
"Is electric cord even a weapon?" asked Quackerjack.   
  
"Isn't it?" responded Megavolt. "Or was it the curtain cord?"   
  
"I think you mean rope," commented Bushroot.  
  
"Was it Colonel Mustard in the dusty, dank library who strangled poor Mr. Boddy," inquired the Liquidator. "No! It couldn't have been! I have Colonel Mustard." He revealed his (waterproofed) card.   
  
"Hey!" complained Quackerjack. "_I _suggested Colonel Mustard on my last turn and no one seemed to have it."   
  
"No, you suggested Miss Scarlet!" snapped Megavolt.   
  
"The butler always does it anyway," the Liquidator quipped.   
  
"But none of the characters is the butler!" protested Bushroot.   
  
"Maybe Mr. Boddy just dropped dead of a heart attack," suggested Quackerjack. He pulled out Mr. Banana Brain. "Or maybe somebody's cheating!"   
  
"Cheating?! I would never cheat my customers!" snapped the Liquidator. "Of course...I have tampered with the competition...but after admitting that, you can't say I'm not honest."   
  
Electric current crackled from Megavolt's hands. "Nobody accuses me of cheating and gets away with it!"   
  
"It's just a game!" argued Bushroot. "It's not worth fighting over!"   
  
The other three answered in unison. "We disagree." They turned on each other. "DIE, CHEATER!"   
  
Bushroot folded his vine-like arms and sighed. "You won't catch me fighting over a silly board game." He turned to the window. "Hey!"   
  
"What?!" came the voices of the other three, annoyed.   
  
Bushroot pointed. "Look outside."   
  
The other three ran to the window and peeked.   
  
Visible in the receding sunlight was Neutralduck. Alone.   
  
"Six out of seven military strategists say four to one are very good odds," the Liquidator announced.   
  
"Maybe I shouldn't have lost my temper back there," Neutralduck whispered to himself. He felt himself being pelted from behind, and spun around.   
  
"It's playtime!" announced Quackerjack gleefully as his toy soldiers fired minature bullets.   
  
Bushroot, never one to just leap into hand-to-hand combat, scratched his purple foliage, releasing a cloud of yellow pollen.   
  
Neutralduck sneezed. "I--" Sneeze. "Hate." Sneeze. "This." Sneeze. "Hay fever." Sneeze. The force of the last sneeze made him flop over.   
  
Fortunately for him, Megavolt had been about to attack. Unable to stop, the electrician crashed into the Liquidator, missing the intended victim by only a few inches. The infamous water-and-electricity reaction ensued.   
  
The dead ringer for Darkwing Duck shielded his neck with one arm and pulled off his cape with the other. He waved the white lining toward the four villains. "I give up!"   
  
Quackerjack's jaw dropped. "Why did we run from this guy anyway?"   
  
Negaduck approached. "Where were you when I needed you?!" He caught sight of their prisoner. "But then again, you can actually do something right. For once."   
  
"Has anyone told you you're a despicable conniving vulture?" hissed Neutralduck, teeth gritting.   
  
"Oh, now you'll make me blush," retorted Negaduck with a smirk.   
************************************************************************  
"So why haven't I met your parents?" demanded Gosalyn. "Is it because you haven't kept in touch?"   
  
"Oh, I've kept in touch."   
  
"Even as Darkwing Duck?"   
  
"Yes. We wrote long letters back and forth. I was vague about my chosen career, though. Kept a PO box before we moved here. Whenever a crook would try to steal postage stamps -- don't ask why -- I'd apprehend them and when they were gone, I'd check my mail. Sometimes I'd call. After I adopted you, I began having weekly visits with them."   
  
"Do they know about me?" asked Gosalyn.   
  
"Oh, yes. I told them about you -- excluding how we met -- and showed them pictures. They said they'd like to meet you."   
  
"Why haven't you introduced me?" the nine year old asked. "Are you ashamed of me?"   
  
"Of course not, Gos. It's just that you were really close to your grandfather and I didn't...want you to think I was trying to replace him."   
  
"Oh, Dad."   
  
"Go ahead and call them if you want. Look under Mallard."   
  
Gosalyn flipped the phone book open to Mallard. The only two listings were her father's name and "R and A". She picked up the phone and dialed the latter. It rang twice.   
  
"Hello?" came a female voice.   
  
"Hi. It's your adoptive granddaughter. Gosalyn."   
  
To be continued  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Banter

There was the sound of shattering glass on the other end of the line. "Gosalyn?" came Anatina Mallard's voice. "Drake has told me so much about you! I think you're his pride and joy. I wish I could stay and chat, sweetie, but my husband and I have to attend a meeting tonight. We'll be home all day tomorrow, though."   
  
"Yes, ma'am." The nine year old hung up the phone.   
***********************************************************************  
Next door, Honker curled up on the recliner with the latest issue of Sciencebills magazine. His father was slumped on the couch watching Pelican's Island. Flipping open the reading material and blocking out an argument between Flipper and Pelican, the bespectacled duck eagerly read an interview with physicist Median Gray.   
  
Binkie came up behind him. "Honk, dear, I was just going to the store to pick up some milk and bread. Would you like to come--" her eyes shifted to the open page. Her eyes opened wide. "Oh my."   
  
Her son's gaze scanned the article for what had shocked his mother.   
  
Then he saw it. The photo to the left of the transcript text.   
  
Median Gray was the spitting image of Drake Mallard.   
************************************************************************  
Neutralduck backed against the wall and tried to not to look nervous. Of course, that was not easy task considering his lookalike was pointing a flame thrower in his face.   
  
"Do anything besides breathe and you're roasted duck," threatened Negaduck, just before turning to his four teammates. "Now then, why did you desert me in the museum?!"   
  
The foursome pointed at each other. "It was his idea!" they said in unison.   
  
"Four out of five supervillains agree that two's a crowd and three's a fright!" quipped the Liquidator.   
  
"We were gonna attack Darkwing. Honest," claimed Quackerjack.   
  
Megavolt nodded vigorously. "We just couldn't figure out which one to hit!"   
  
"Maybe the different color schemes might have tipped you off," Negaduck growled.   
  
"It was dark in there!" protested Bushroot.   
  
Negaduck set down the flame thrower. "Fine. I'm feeling a little less violent than usual today. Guard the exits."   
  
The foursome saluted and left, slamming the door behind them.   
  
Negaduck whirled around and pulled a machine gun out from behind his back. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."   
  
Neutralduck pulled the collar of his gray turtleneck from his neck. "You want me to talk?"   
  
"Precisely." The yellow-coated duck cocked the gun. "For one thing, if you're neutral, why did it look like you were on Dipwing Dolt's side back there?"   
  
"I'd rather make an exception than get toasted by a blowtorch!" Neutralduck dodged several rounds in his direction and managed to dive behind a mahogany desk.   
  
Negaduck blew the smoke off his gun. "Don't get too clever with me, Neutraldork."   
  
"And what would you do if I did get clever?" retorted the other.   
  
"I'd be surprised, but then I'd have to smash you like the annoying bug you are."   
  
"You just met me a couple hours ago!"   
  
"Anyone who looks that much like Darkwing Duck is a thorn in my side."   
  
"You look like him, too!"   
  
Several more rounds fired. "You just got on my bad side."   
  
"Why do you hate Darkwing Duck? What did he ever do to you?"   
  
"Exist," replied Negaduck, pulling a dart and tossing it at a pockmarked photograph of his nemesis in purple. "I'm not usually one to use figurative language, but there's a wall between me and that perfectly straight arrow." He threw a large hatchet towards Neutralduck, who ducked beneath the desk.   
  
"And you built the wall, I'm assuming?" came the bluecoat's voice from the kneehole.   
  
"Bingo. I considered being an architect, but the only thing more satisfying than making plans is the sheer thrill of killing someone with your own hands! Now, hold still!" He drew out a knife and tossed it in the general direction of the desk.   
  
Neutralduck reached over and pulled it from the floor. He paused, and calculated the trajectory with which to throw it back.   
  
The dagger sailed through the air, pinning Negaduck's black and crimson cape to the wall.   
  
"If I had aimed about thirteen degrees to your right," Neutralduck said severely. "I'd have pierced your chest." I'd say heart, but I doubt this guy has a heart to hit.   
  
Negaduck drew another knife from the yellow jacket. This one was longer and sharper.   
  
The other duck leaped out of the way, making the formidable blade hit the wall, handle quivering.   
  
"See?" smirked Negaduck. "If you hadn't moved, I'd have hit you in that apparently too soft heart of yours."   
  
"If...you...want...to...fight," puffed Neutralduck. "Get...ready...for...war." He wiped the sweat off his brow.   
  
"Puh-leeze," muttered Negaduck. This 'neutral triplet' to Darkwing and himself apparently didn't have the stamina or the martial arts training both were gifted with. A good aim and mathematic knowledge, yes, but this duck was obviously too wimpy to put up a real fight. Good at fighting with his mouth too, but mere words were nothing to Negaduck -- a duck of action! All he had to do was wear his opponent down. It was almost too easy!   
  
Megavolt was holding a plastic cup to the door, and had overheard the whole thing. "Man. Negaduck is really giving that other guy a hard time! I'll be surprised if he doesn't have a heart attack."   
  
"I never thought of Negaduck as the type to get a heart attack," commented Quackerjack. He pulled out his infamous doll. "He's just a carrier!"   
  
"Anyone want to make some bets?" asked the Liquidator, with a greedy gleam in his eye.   
  
Bushroot pulled out a coin.   
  
"Heads Negaduck plasters Neutralduck to the wall, Tails they both pass out on the floor!" announced the watery canine.   
  
"Tails!" called Megavolt.   
  
"Yeah," Bushroot agreed, flipping the coin. "We're optimists."   
  
"Come back here, you coward!" came Negaduck's poisonous voice from the other side of the door.   
  
"Well, who's wearing yellow?" Neutralduck's voice snapped back.   
  
The foursome dropped to the ground to look for the coin.   
  
It was leaning against a table leg on its rim. The foursome exchanged glances.   
  
I can't keep this up much longer, thought Neutralduck. Plan A. Try to reason with the enemy. "Negaduck. Why are we doing this?"   
  
"Because I enjoy it!"   
  
OK, Plan B. Pretend to be his ally. "How would you like a more competent subordinate?"   
  
"Forget it. You're probably just planning to double cross me."   
  
Plan C...do I even have a Plan C?   
  
Negaduck threw a grenade, which his target grabbed and threw at the window. It detonated. The yellow-coated duck shielded his face with his arms to prevent himself getting cut by the flying glass shards.   
  
Oh, yeah, remembered Neutralduck. Run! He crawled out the window. A piece of jagged glass cut his hand, but he didn't care. He dropped to the ground. Good thing we were on the first story, he thought.   
  
Negaduck removed the shattered pane and glanced out the window. It was dark out. He shrugged.   
  
The door opened, and the rest of the Fearsome Five re-entered.   
  
"Where's Neutralduck?" asked Bushroot.   
  
"He escaped," snarled the leader. "But I wouldn't lose sleep over it."   
  
"Why not?" asked Quackerjack.   
  
"Cause we're going to see if we can get both him and Darkwing Duck. I always did like the idea of killing two birds with one stone." Negaduck laughed wickedly. The others nervously joined in.   
  
TBC 


	4. Meet the Parents

Honker stirred in his bed and glanced at his clock. 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Tank's snoring could be heard across the hall. His father, Herb, wouldn't up until about 10:00, and won't be selling his Quackerware until about twelve-thirty -- after he had scarfed down lunch. Distant clicking from a typewriter indicated his mother was downstairs working on something for the Parent-Teacher Association. Sometimes the nine-year-old wondered why Binkie Muddlefoot seemed to be stuck in the fifties. He picked the copy of Sciencebills lying on his nightstand and flipped it open, specifically to the interview.   
  
It might be a coincidence, but it might not be, thought the young duck, slipping on his thick glasses.   
  
There were several points of interest in the interview text, Median Gray's first -- the physicist was rather modest and quiet. One concerned his parentage:   
  
Professor Gamma: Our sources say you were adopted. Is that true?   
  
Median Gray: Oh, don't throw those silly rumors in my face. Why is it whenever someone hears the word 'adopted'; they assume there's some sort of cliche soap-opera story behind it? Yes, I was adopted, but I wasn't left on a doorstep.   
  
Gamma: So you lived at an orphanage?   
  
Gray: Not exactly. I was born in St. Canard General Hospital. My adoptive mother, Ashley Gray, worked there as a nurse. In the delivery ward, one of the mothers had laid a dud egg, but somehow it had been forgotten. My mother remembered it later that day and went to take it to Pathology, but it hatched when she touched it. She had been lonesome since her husband died, and wanted a child to raise, so she saw this as her chance.   
  
Gamma: Would you want to meet your adoptive parents?   
  
Gray: Well, who wouldn't? But I think Ash Gray did a good job of raising me, and I'm proud to call her my mother.   
  
Another piece referred to Gray's parallel universe theories:   
  
Gray: This universe is sometimes nicknamed "The Compromise Verse" because well, it is one of compromise. Dualistic and opposing forces act on it, but one never quite dominates the other. Sometimes it seems like crime is rampant through the world, but we are far from being complete anarchy. My partner, Gyro Gearloose, and I speculate there are two parallel universes -- each with one force dominant. Gyro has successfully traveled to one. We arbitrarily called it the Posiverse, never mind why.   
  
Gamma: Wait a second. How did you accomplish this scientific feat?   
  
There was a photograph of what looked like a blue phone booth. A door was ajar, revealing a small control panel inside. A display on the panel read Y = 4 e_91 sin(9x) + 7.   
  
Gray: We built this machine together. You just step inside and enter the equation of this universe. We calculated the equation of this place to be four to the ninety-first power times the sine of nine x plus seven. To get to the Posiverse, we used the same equation, only replacing "sine" with its reciprocal function -- cosecant.   
  
Gamma: Impressive. And what happened on Mr. Gearloose's expedition?   
  
Gray: He didn't stay very long. Said it creeped him out. He said he landed in a lab identical to ours, but deserted. He snatched a piece of paper and a pen and came back. As soon as he stepped out of the machine, the two items disintegrated. Like antimatter meeting an equal amount of matter.   
  
Gamma: Turned into energy?   
  
Gray: One hundred percent pure energy. We hope this knowledge will help us find new, cleaner forms of energy.   
  
Gamma: Aren't you afraid your dimension machine will fall into the wrong hands?   
  
Gray: There's always that risk, but the machine must be activated by a code only which I know.   
  
Gamma: Would you want to visit another universe? Meet yourself?   
  
Gray: Be a stranger to my own face? It seems better suited for science fiction novels, and I'm only concerned with using science fact to help this universe.   
  
Gamma: You could win the Nobel Prize for Physics.   
  
Gray: There's someone else more deserving. And I'd only be considered if my theories were correct. But it is food for thought, no?   
  
Gamma: And thanks for sharing that food for thought.   
  
Gray: The pleasure was all mine.   
  
Honker had an idea. It was a shot in the dark, but it might work. He slipped out of bed, shoved his feet in his bunny slippers and walked down the hall. He picked the phone up from its cradle and dialed the National Association for Discovery and Exploration (NADE). Gyro Gearloose was the current president.   
  
"Hello?" came the voice of the receptionist.   
  
"Hi. Um, is Gyro Gearloose in?"   
  
"No, but who's calling?"   
  
"Honker Muddlefoot."   
  
"Hold on." A few minutes of silence, then ringing. The receptionist had obviously forwarded the call. Honker smiled a little. Good thing I had those essays published in Sciencebills.   
  
"Hello?" came another voice.   
  
"Mr. Gearloose?"   
  
"Yes, who is this?"   
  
"Honker Muddlefoot."   
  
"Weren't you the NADE's Science Scholar of the Year?"  
  
Honker was grateful that Gyro wasn't able to see him blush. "Well, I hoping you could help me contact Mr. Gray--"   
  
"Median Gray? Sorry. He recently left Duckburg. Said he was going to St. Canard to work on some other projects. I gave him the dimension machine because I had an assignment from my other boss, but he was very vague about the whole thing. Didn't even leave a forwarding address." There was a crash on Duckburg's side of the line.   
  
"Gyro!" came a heavy Scottish accent.   
  
"Sorry, Mr. McDuck," came the inventor's voice. "Listen, I've got to skiddaddle. Maybe we'll do lunch and discuss some of your ideas."   
  
"Thanks for your help, Mr. Gearloose."   
  
"Anything to help a fellow scholar. Pretty soon you'll be President of the NADE." Click.   
  
Honker tried to keep the capillaries in his cheeks from dilating. He sighed happily at the praise.   
********************************************************************************************  
The Mallard's blue car pulled up in front of a rather large two-story house. The house was constructed of light-brown bricks, while a wraparound porch beckoned invitingly. The yard, while not a garden, was well-kept. Some wildflowers peppered the lawn.   
  
Drake pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition. "Well, this is it."   
  
Gosalyn got out of the car and ran toward the front door. She reached for a brass knocker and banged it on the walnut entranceway.   
  
The door opened, and a male duck appeared behind it. He wore a simple outfit; black slacks, a pressed white shirt, and black vest. A gold pocket watch dangled from a chain hooked to the vest. "Well, I'll be. Look who dropped by. Nice to finally see the girl behind the name. Gosalyn, is it?"   
  
Gosalyn had no doubt this was her father's father. She recognized the stocky build and feathered sideburns. Her adoptive grandfather's dark eyes were accented by thick auburn hair that was graying at the temples -- his namesake, perhaps?   
  
Drake caught up with them, with Launchpad following close behind. "Good morning, Dad."   
  
"And a fine morning it is, Drake."   
  
"Dad, Launchpad McQuack. Launchpad, my father -- Ruddy Mallard."   
  
Ruddy extended a hand to the pilot. "How do you do?"   
  
Launchpad shook his new acquaintance's hand, so vigorously that the former architect wondered if his arm was going to go numb.   
  
Gosalyn surveyed the front hall. An old-fashioned umbrella stand was in the corner, while an empty coatrack was by the door. A hall table held a phone, message pad, and vase of flowers. I wonder if my new grandmother's gonna be that stiff and formal.   
  
There was a clicking of shoes as Anatina entered the room. She was in a cream blouse with pearl buttons, black skirt, and green sweater. White feather-hair was pulled back in a bun. A necklace of sparkling green stones adorned her neck. "Drake!" She embraced her son.   
  
"I take it you're glad to see me."   
  
"I'm always happy to see you. Now give me a kiss and stop being so sarcastic."   
  
Drake moaned. "I'm too old for that!" He stopped when he saw Anatina's long beak quiver, then decide to bite the bullet. He gave her a peck on the cheek.   
  
Launchpad tried hard to suppress a laugh. It came out as a soft cough. Happily no one heard.   
  
Gosalyn smirked. So that's why he never wanted me to see them. Leave it to Dad and his inflated ego.   
  
Anatina glanced from Gosalyn to Launchpad. "Well, Drake, not to sound nosy, but when are we going to see the girlfriend you've been telling us about over the phone? We'd like to see our daughter-in-law before the ceremony."   
  
That did it. Launchpad cracked up.   
  
Gosalyn bit her lower beak hard to keep from laughing herself. "What did he say about Morgana?"   
  
"Like he was putting her on a pedestal and worshipping her," giggled Anatina.   
  
"The way his voice melted when he spoke about her, we knew she was the one," added Ruddy.   
  
Drake wanted to melt through the floor. "I'm sure my little honeywumpus will be glad to meet you."   
  
"The feeling's mutual," replied his mother.   
  
"She's not what you ex--" Gosalyn piped up. Drake elbowed her. "Ow!"   
  
Anatina wrung her hands on her skirt. "Gosalyn, are you hungry? I'm afraid I don't have any cookies." She sighed. "I guess I'm already flunking the grandmother test."   
  
Drake tried not to smile himself at his mother's past attempts at cooking. It just wasn't her talent. Luckily, his father's cooking skills were on par.   
  
"We've got some fruit, though. I can make you a milkshake in the blender."  
  
"Keen gear!" The pair walked out. Launchpad, never one to pass up a snack, followed.   
  
Ruddy looked at his son. "How's the superhero stint coming along?"   
  
Drake snatched his father's collars. "Who told you?!"   
  
"No one. I switched on the TV one night, and there was a segment on you--"  
  
"Me?! On TV?! How long was it?! Did the camera get my good side?! Was my cape wrinkle-free?! Did you tape it?!"   
  
"It was very short, showing only a few video clips. But your mother dropped a whole set of dishes when she caught a glance of you. I don't think she even heard the crashes. Just pointed at the screen and gasped 'That's Drake'! I hadn't recognized you in the mask and cape, but did you really think you could fool your own mother?"   
  
Drake chuckled. "I guess not."   
  
There was a crash from the living. The father and son ran in to investigate.   
  
A vase was lying in shards on the Persian rug.   
  
Drake saw the veins in his father's neck bulged. Knowing how quick his father was to anger, he decided to take discipline in his own hands. "Gosalyn Mallard, what happened, young lady?"   
  
"It was an accident!" insisted the redhead. "I was just going to open the window and I banged my knee on the leg and the vase fell over."   
  
Anatina ran a vacuum cleaner over the broken pieces. "I always hated that vase anyway."   
  
"It was my mother's!" cried Ruddy. He took a deep breath. "But...yeah, you're right. It was pretty ugly."   
  
Drake's wristwatch beeped. Well, it was a combination wrist-watch and link to his Remote Alarm Terminal...which he had Sara Bellum retool recently to reveal the location of the crime in progress. She may be a kook, but she was efficient. "Um, Launchpad, I think we left that cake in the oven. Let's get back before it burns!"   
  
"What cake--" asked his sidekick before being yanked out by a flight-cap strap.   
  
Gosalyn debated following them, until she saw Ruddy take down a leather photo album and blow the dust off it.   
*************************************************************************************  
"It's not like the Fearsome Five to hit the same place twice," commented Launchpad as the Ratcatcher whizzed through the streets of St. Canard.   
  
"They must have come back for what they were trying to steal last night," commented Darkwing, who switched between his costume and civilian clothes so often he could do it in the blink of an eye. He turned into the museum parking lot, which was empty. Most of the visitors and staff had fled upon seeing the Fearsome Five's entrance.   
  
Inside a storage room, Negaduck pried a board off a wooden crate. "This is it. Take it out of here."   
  
Megavolt and Quackerjack lifted the heavy crate, grunting.   
  
The Liquidator slid under them. "Perform tasks you couldn't before, fast, fast, fast!" The threesome began to move the box toward the exit.   
  
"If you damage that expensive equipment in any way, I'll brain you," snapped Negaduck.   
  
Outside the door, Bushroot was watching for any signs of trouble.   
  
There was a flash of blue and black. Neutralduck dropped off a rope attached to a rafter, in front of the mutant plant-duck. He began to sneeze. "Oh no...not..." Sneeze. "Again." Sneeze.   
  
There was a cloud of blue smoke. "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the boat you miss! I am--"   
  
Neutralduck sneezed, the force of which sent him into a marble pillar. The pillar wobbled, and a statuette of a horse fell off...right in the middle of the smoke cloud. There was a loud CLONK!   
  
The blue smoke clear, revealing an unconscious Darkwing. The stone horse was beside him, in pieces. Neutralduck checked his pulse. Still there.   
  
"Don't worry," said Bushroot, moving towards the two. "That duck collects concussions like a movie star collects Oscars. He'll be fine when he wakes up." If he wakes up, with Negaduck in the vicinity. But then again, Darkwing was about as easy to kill as a cockroach. Better get a little insurance, the plant-duck thought. He hated to do it, but Negaduck had been thinking about reducing the Fearsome Five to the Fearsome Four lately.   
  
Neutralduck stood up as several vines sprung out of the floor and wrapped around him. He struggled, but was tied fast.   
  
Bushroot gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry about your short-lived career."   
  
TBC 


	5. More Interrogation

(725 Featheridge Boulevard)   
  
Ruddy pointed to a photograph of his son at age one and a half. "And here's Drakey with a hot dog in his beak!"   
  
Gosalyn howled with laughed. "Can I get a copy of that one?" Next to the picture was on of young Drake with his foot caught in the sink drain. "And that one?" She flipped the album to the very beginning. On one of the first pages was a newborn baby and a nurse. The nurse was scowling as her hair was being yanked by said infant. The duckling looked like Baby Drake, yet it wasn't. The malevolent grin on the child's face just did not belong to her father. Gosalyn couldn't shake the feeling she had seen the expression somewhere before. "That's not Dad."   
  
Anatina swiftly shut the book. "I'll go get the pictures from Drakey's tot years."   
*********************************************************  
Darkwing opened his eyes. "Where am I?"   
  
"It's about time," came Negaduck's voice. "You've been out for the past five minutes."   
  
Darkwing realized he was sitting back to back with Neutralduck, their wrists chained together with sets of old-fashioned handcuffs. They were in some sort of storage room.   
  
Negaduck was standing by the door. "You see, the curator of this joint's very superstitious. He considers these artifacts too disturbing to be put on display, so he keeps them in this room, which is practically airtight. Only a select few even know this room exists. Won't they be surprised when they finally open it and discover a pair of identical corpses?" He motioned to a thread with one end tied around the doorknob and the other connected to a switch on a red box. "When I leave and shut the door, this string will be stretched taut, flipping that switch. This is a motor, which I've connected to a set of pulleys that will bring two antique iron maidens -- one in front and one behind -- together. And even if you somehow escape the hero sandwich fate, it'll only be about ten minutes before you arrive at Suffocation City. Like my handiwork? Got the idea from the latest Derek Blunt movie."   
  
"Rube Goldbeak would be very proud," Darkwing snapped in a sarcastic voice.   
  
Negaduck smirked. "Well, as much as I'd like to stay and watch your demise, I'd rather test out the stolen dimension machine. Toodles." He slammed the door behind him. There was a click as the door locked.   
  
Darkwing felt Neutralduck's back stiffen against his own. "Relax. Negaduck's rigged so many of these, my blood pressure's gotten used to it."   
  
"Good, because mine's rising enough for the both of us!"   
  
Darkwing craned his neck to see the antique cuffs. They were rusted, but showed no signs of being likely to break soon. He glanced nervously at the wall of spikes coming towards the twosome. "Maybe we can stand up." He pressed the soles of his webbed feet against the floor, attempting to push his body up.   
  
No good. The two ducks crashed back to the floor.   
  
"Roll over like your life depends on it!" commanded Neutralduck. "Because it does!"   
  
Darkwing obeyed. It took several flops over, but they were soon safely out of range of the incoming spikes. "Where's that sidekick of mine?" He glanced around the small closet. Several boxes were crowded in one corner, making the floor sag. Come to think of it, some of the floorboards looked rotten. "This way."   
  
It worked. The boards gave way, sending the two prisoners into the museum basement. One of the chains caught on a piece of a broken board and snapped. With his free hand, the terror that flaps in the night reached inside his purple jacket and drew out a lock pick. The antique cuffs fell to the floor. "Once again, the plucky protagonist perseveres through another precarious predicament!"   
  
Neutralduck clutched his chest. "My heart hasn't beat that fast since I was doing experiments in a vacuum and my oxygen tank fell off!"  
  
The door to the basement opened as Launchpad ran in. "DW! I've been looking all over for ya!"   
  
Darkwing brushed dust off his jacket. "Neutralduck, my sidekick, Launchpad."   
  
"We've met," Neutralduck replied dryly. "And if you'll excuse me--"   
  
"Wait!" called the pilot.   
  
"Yes?" asked the bluecoat.   
  
"Maybe you should come with us," suggested Launchpad.   
  
"There's strength in numbers," Darkwing added. "Besides, there are a few questions I'd like answered."   
  
"Oh? Fire away."   
  
They began to ascend the stairs leading to the ground floor. "For one thing, why the dramatic entrance last time?"   
  
Neutralduck chuckled. "Oh, that. To attract attention."   
  
"It worked," piped up Launchpad.   
  
Darkwing looked a little embarrassed. "But why would you take that risk with such a professional around? Namely, me."   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize this business was territorial." Neutralduck wrung his hands. "After I've had my discussion with Megavolt, I'll leave. Go back to civilian life in Duckburg."   
  
"Duckburg, eh? Don't suppose you've met Gizmoduck."   
  
"I've heard of him, but I've never met the guy."   
  
"Just hope you don't." Darkwing opened a side exit, where his motorcycle was parked. "Wait a minute. Did you just mention Megavolt?"   
  
"Yes. He's got some information I need regarding an invention of his. The tron splitter."   
  
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but Megavolt's got a sketchy memory. Too much time on the circuit boards. He's probably forgotten about it."   
*********************************************************************************  
Gosalyn reached under the growing stack of albums and yanked out the first one. She opened it to the photo of the nurse and infant. "Just who is that?"   
  
Anatina burst into tears.   
  
Ruddy shrugged. "I guess it's time we faced the music. That's Jacob Diablo Mallard."   
  
His wife blew her nose on a lace handkerchief. "Sometimes I wonder if it's possible--"   
  
"What's possible?" asked Gosalyn. "What happened to him?"   
  
"Well," Ruddy began. "Jacob wasn't exactly ordinary. See that nurse in the picture? She quit right after it was taken. Jake bit her finger just before pulling her hair. Good thing he hadn't developed teeth yet."   
  
"No kidding. Was there a story behind the middle name?"   
  
"Rosa Lifeline was fluent in Spanish. Diablo means devil," Anatina sighed. "We felt a little guilty about giving him the middle name, but it suited him extremely well."   
  
"What did he do?" asked Gosalyn, astonished. She had been called an assortment of names at the orphanage, mostly 'problem child,' but she had never earned a nickname that bad.   
  
"There was the time the neighbor's cat wandered onto our property," recalled Ruddy. "Jake was outside and pulled its tail. The cat didn't like this and fought back. Our son's response? Grab the poor feline's neck and squeeze it. The cat barely survived, but we never saw it again."   
  
"It was so embarrassing," groaned Anatina.  
  
"Did Jake get along with his brother?" inquired the nine year old.   
  
"Not in the least," answered Ruddy. "If I hadn't noticed the laundry basket was so heavy, I'd never have discovered that Jake hid a sleeping Drake in a pile of dirty clothes heading for the washing machine."   
  
"Then there were all his attempts to punch, kick, bite, or bonk Drakey on the head," added Anatina. "Then one day he disappeared. We tried everything, but he had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth."   
  
Gosalyn ran into the hall, and sifted through the newspaper recycling bin until she found an issue from a few days ago. The young girl flipped through the pages until she found a colored photograph of Darkwing Duck wrestling with his 'diabolical double.' She re-entered the living room and held out the picture. "Does he look familiar?"   
  
She took Anatina's stunned expression as a 'yes'.   
***********************************************  
Negaduck studied the dimension machine from all angles. He pried open the glass door and stepped inside. He flipped a switch labeled 'on.' The console lit up. Enter Access Code appeared on a small black screen in white letters. Beneath it was a 10-digit keypad. Public Enemy Number Two took out a fingerdusting kit he had stolen from the museum exhibit on early crime detection methods. No avail. There were no fingerprints on the keys. Whoever used the machine last must have worn gloves. Negaduck punched a random string of numbers. Not even close, read the display.   
  
Negaduck smacked his forehead and opened the copy of Sciencebills he had conveniently shoplifted from the newsstand. He flipped it to the Median Gray interview and reread the section on the dimension machine. He glanced at the photo. "Wait a minute." He ran to the windows and drew the curtains closed, then shut the door and left the key in the lock. Then he pulled off his own mask, a rare occasion. Negaduck was uncomfortable without the black mask; it seemingly defined him. He had discovered that the day he had donned it. The unmasked supervillain looked into his reflection in one of the plate glass windows of the machine. A copy of Median Gray's face stared back. Negaduck refastened the mask and groaned. "Gray...between black and white. The color of neutrality. The only one who knew the code and he's pushing up daisies along with Darkwing Duck." He re-opened the door. "I'll just see the results of my labor. Maybe he had the code written in his address book or something."   
************************************  
A small car pulled up to 537 Avian Way.   
  
"Nice house," whistled Ruddy. "Couldn't have designed a nicer one myself."   
  
Gosalyn turned to get out. "I'll tell Dad to call you when he gets home. I'll stay at my friend Honker's until he does."   
  
"Until next time, sweetie," answered Anatina, kissing her granddaughter's forehead.   
  
Gosalyn waited until her grandparents were gone, then ran toward her own house. She climbed through an open window, then went to the living room. A bonk on Basil's head, and she was in Darkwing Tower. Her father, still in costume, was reading some printouts at his desk. Launchpad was eating a tall sandwich while a duck who looked just like Darkwing was trying to look away. "Keen gear!" She faced the unfamiliar duck. "Let me guess...you're some sort of evil clone, or some zombie who can shape-shift to look just like anyone on Earth!"   
  
"Why, no!" the duck sputtered.   
  
"Or are you involved in something more sinister?" Gosalyn leaned forward, her face almost in Neutralduck's.   
  
Neutralduck threw up his hands. "I'm perfectly normal." He looked around desperately. "Darkwing! I thought we had a truce!"   
  
Darkwing was too absorbed in reading the papers to hear.   
  
Launchpad gently tugged one of Gosalyn's ponytails. "Calm down, Gos."  
  
"What? Calm down? What if he's in cahoots with Negaduck?"   
  
"Negaduck tried to kill me!" protested Neutralduck. "Look, I've got better things to do than be given the third degree by a little girl!"   
  
Gosalyn reached for the blue mask. "Then let's see what's underneath that costume."   
  
Neutralduck slapped her hand.   
  
"Geez, got something to hide?" Gosalyn snapped indignantly.   
  
"I've got nothing to hide, but I don't want to let anyone know what I look like."  
*****************************************************  
Negaduck opened the door to the museum's vault. A cursory glance at the room told him his intended victims had escaped. "Hmm...looks like I'm going back to the Negaverse after all! I'll just call another meeting of the Fearsome Five." He slammed the door and ran out of the museum, eager to set his new plan in motion.   
  
TBC 


	6. Opposites Attack

"Are you sure this'll work?" asked Negaduck.   
  
Quackerjack proudly patted an odd-looking contraption. It looked like an electroencephalograph, complete with monitor. The electrodes dangled on a nearby couch. "Sparky and I built it together."   
  
Megavolt gritted his teeth. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Sparky?!"   
  
Negaduck took a closer look at the device. "So, anyone hooked up to this do-hickey's mind will be scanned and the contents of his or her memory bank will appear on this screen?"   
  
"Yup!" replied the jester. "We figured it would come in handy if we forgot something important."   
  
Megavolt opened a panel on the side and pulled at some wires. "It'll be ready with some minor adjustments."   
  
"Fine, fine, fine," the leader of the Fearsome Five sighed as he turned to the other two members. "As for you two, I want you to go to this address and bring back the occupant. Alive. Never mind why."   
  
Bushroot and Liquidator shrugged and departed, neither wanting to argue with Negaduck.  
******************************************************************************  
Honker closed the front door to his house and went next door. He had distinctly seen his best friend slip in through a window. The young genius knocked on the door. "Gosalyn? Mr. Mallard?" He shrugged and crawled through the same window. Grimacing slightly, he sat down on a blue armchair and bonked the statue's head.   
  
At the Tower, Darkwing was reading from a sheet of paper. "Reductionalizer. Converts a three-dimensional environment into one dimension. Could that be Negaduck's scheme? To turn this world into nothing but points, lines, and planes?" He didn't bother to greet Honker; simply pointed to his left. "Gosalyn's over there." The crimefighter scratched his head. "Hmm...nah. Negaduck's no geometry fan."   
  
"I just came to this city to speak with Megavolt!" sputtered Neutralduck.   
  
"Why?" asked Gosalyn, barely noticing the new arrival. "So you can help him get rid of Da--er, Darkwing?"   
  
"Not at all. I just wanted to see the tron splitter."   
  
"How do you know about that?" The redhead leaned forward. "Did you read Megavolt's mind like a brainwashing amoeba from the Green Lagoon?"   
  
"No! I'm just...well, I could explain--"   
  
"Then why don't you?"   
  
Neutralduck took a deep breath. "All the matter in this universe is made of atoms, right?"   
  
Gosalyn glanced at Launchpad and Honker. "Yeah."   
  
"Atoms are composed of subatomic particles: the positively charged protons and the negatively charged electrons. The neutrons have no charge. These particles are in turn made of quarks, which are composed of trons -- positrons and negatrons."   
  
"In the world, the positrons and negatrons are so well-blended that it would take an extreme amount of energy and specialized equipment to separate them," Honker recited. "The trons are not to be confused with the positively charged electrons and negatively charged protons of antimatter. When antimatter meets an equal amount of matter, the result is 100% pure energy. If pure positrons and pure negatrons met, it can be hypothesized the same reaction would occur. If an object were to be split into its positron and negatron components, they would remain in matter form. However, if a completely foreign tron, say, a positron entered the universe, the negatrons of our combined matter would immediately annihilate it. If combined matter were introduced into a pure-negatron or pure positron environment, the oppositely charged trons would be tempted to attack, but the same charged particles would prevent--"   
  
"Whoa, Honk-man!" interrupted Launchpad. "You're making my head spin!"   
  
"Where did that come from anyway," asked Gosalyn.   
  
"Median Gray's paper 'On the Polar Nature of Matter'," Honker replied with a slight smile.   
  
A look of shock rippled across Neutralduck's face, but he quickly calmed, grateful that basic acting had been an elective in college. "Now will you please turn off the hot lights?"   
  
"That doesn't explain how you knew about that splitter," pointed out Gosalyn.   
  
"I gleaned together rumors and information from various stories. And it involved a healthy dose of guesswork."   
  
Honker pulled the issue of Sciencebills and left it open on the table.   
  
Darkwing's face took on a look of triumph. "The Cross-Dimension Traveling Apparatus, donated by Median Gray last week," he whispered to himself. "Negaduck's trying to go back to the Negaverse--"  
  
"I'm not planning anything! Stop threatening me!" cried Neutralduck. "I'm not working with anyone. I don't even know why I look like Darkwing! I didn't realize it until I put on this costume." He dropped to his knees. "I'm not a clone, I'm not an assassin. I'm just a regular guy!"   
  
Darkwing folded up the paper and groaned. "Gos -- I mean, little girl I barely know, leave that duck alone. I'm pretty sure he's not one of the bad guys."   
  
"Thank you," sighed Neutralduck. "For a minute, I thought you had broken our truce."   
  
Gosalyn shrugged. "Just making sure." How many are there, anyway?   
  
The bluecoat looked rather pale. "But can I please go home?"   
  
"Sure. I'll escort you," sighed Darkwing, knowing full well he couldn't hold the duck against his will. "Thanks a lot," he hissed to Gosalyn before stealing a glance at the open magazine.   
  
"Inducing nervous breakdowns is what I do best," the nine year old said in a sweet voice.   
  
"I'll say!" Launchpad agreed. "Your dad almost had a heart attack when he saw your room."   
  
"Increasing entropy is your greatest talent," added Honker.   
************************************************************************  
Negaduck slumped on the couch. "What's taking those knobs so long?" He rolled over. "It's hard to sulk in a stay-pressed jacket." He sighed. "When I get to the Negaverse, I'm going straight to Anatidaeopolis and looking up Mom and Dad." He shuddered to think that such a sappy word like love could enter his vocabulary, but he definitely cared about his parents in the Negaverse. Negaduck hated almost everyone else: the Friendly Four, not to mention the police and common citizens of both Universes. He grudgingly admitted that he only thoroughly disliked the rest of the Fearsome Five, but only because they obeyed his every command, and hey, those superpowers did come in handy.   
  
He hated Darkwing Duck the most. Negaduck knew perfectly well that he could never be as evil as he wanted to be as long as his goody-two-shoes double was around. Not guilt, perish the thought, but simply because Darkwing ruined his plans for turning this St. Canard to chaos. His evil was counteracted by good, but the good wasn't even pure good. Was that suggesting he wasn't pure evil? It was an unpleasant feeling. "I'm sure Dad's got a few suggestions on how to neutralize that law-abider."   
***********************************************************************  
"When I was looking up stuff about St. Canard," Neutralduck was saying. "I saw a photo of you. It made me realize that a civilian could never approach a supervillain and stay alive, so I borrowed a sewing machine and stitched up an outfit like yours. With a slightly different color scheme, so Megavolt wouldn't mistake me for you."   
  
"So you noticed?"   
  
"Not really. I didn't realize how much we looked alike until I saw you in the museum."   
  
"Where did you go?"   
  
"I lost my nerve." Neutralduck wrung his gray fedora. "I'm not cut out for the superhero biz. When the Four Villains of the Apocalypse ambushed me, my first instinct was to drop down and surrender. That mutant plant-duck ought to be labeled as a public hazard."   
  
"Bushroot? That little shrinking violet? You are a novice."   
  
"What was your first clue? Stop here."   
  
Darkwing stopped the Ratcatcher in the back parking lot of a group of apartment buildings.   
  
Neutralduck got off. "Thanks for the ride." He slipped in the back door, obviously so no one would see him in costume.   
  
Pretty sharp, Darkwing thought. He decided to follow his lookalike. If he got caught, he could always make up some excuse.   
  
No sooner than the purple-caped crimefighter entered the apartment, there was a scream. Darkwing rushed toward the open door at the end of the hall, gas gun in hand.   
  
Bushroot and the Liquidator were just inside the doorway. A duck who looked exactly like Drake Mallard in a cream shirt and light blue sweater was using a Swiss Army knife to hack at several vines growing toward him.   
  
Darkwing pointed the gas gun toward the superpowered supervillains. "Suck gas, evildoers! Or, in your case, suck combination weed killer and cement!" He squeezed the trigger. Nothing came out. "Drat! Of all the times to forget my cartridges!"   
  
The Liquidator rose, until he was a seven foot pillar of water. "Opportunities doesn't wait for a welcome mat!"   
  
Darkwing ran toward the kitchen, hoping for a novel idea, with the water-dog in hot pursuit. He spotted a door next to a set of shelves and yanked it open.   
  
Fortunately for him, the Liquidator hadn't timed his tidal-wave attack right. The salesman-formerly-known-as-Bud Flood slid right through the open doorway.   
  
Darkwing slammed the door shut, nervous that the watery canine would leak out, but luckily he didn't. "What a freezer. Airtight." He peeked into the foyer.   
  
The other duck was about to run for the open door, but a potted plant stuck out a root to trip him. The Swiss Army knife, engraved with the initials "MG" fell to the floor.   
  
Bushroot seized his opportunity to call up his ivy-vines once again. A branch wrapped around the kidnapped party's bill, another around his arms. "Negaduck wants to talk to you."   
  
The duck nodded, resigned.   
  
Darkwing went over his options. He could try to rescue his double, but who was to say that the Fearsome Five wouldn't try again when he wasn't around? He decided to follow Bushroot to Negaduck's hideout. Laying low, he watched the mutant plant duck exit the building and prepared to tail him at a safe distance.   
  
TBC 


	7. Back to the Negaverse

Darkwing ran to the closet and opened the door. Neutralduck's costume hung neatly on a rack. The superhero pulled out a garment bag and ran back out the door. Wait a minute. He was that physicist in the magazine!   
  
After calling the police, who had to pack the Liquidator in frozen yogurt to prevent him from thawing en route to jail, the caped crusader resumed the tailing. "That pernicious plant sure seems in a hurry."   
  
Median Gray glared at his kidnapper.   
  
"Don't look at me like that," begged the mutant plant-duck. "I feel terrible about this as it is."   
  
"What does Negaduck want with me anyway?"   
  
"He wouldn't say." Bushroot stopped in front of the warehouse.   
  
Negaduck was waiting. "Where's--" He stopped short. "Oh, no."   
  
A puff of blue smoke materialized. "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the equation with the empty solution set!"   
  
Negaduck snarled. "Megavolt, Quackerjack, distract him!" He grabbed Median by his shirt collar. "And you're coming with me if you know what's good for ya!"   
  
Megavolt smirked as he fired several shots of electric current.   
  
Quackerjack leaped forward. "It's playtime!"   
  
"You've got to come up with a new catch-phrase, Quackster," replied Darkwing, dodging Megavolt's offenses. He ducked rocks from Quackerjack's toy slingshot. One of Bushroot's vines wrapped neatly around the crimefighter's arm. Darkwing yanked hard, making the other end of the vine whip like a lasso and knock the slingshot away. Megavolt collapsed on the ground, having exhausted his battery reserve. Quackerjack tripped over him, knocking over Bushroot in the process.   
********************************************************************  
Negaduck pointed at the Cross-Dimensional Traveling Apparatus. "You built this."   
  
"Actually, Gyro did most of the building. I calculated the equation--"   
  
"All I want is the activation code." The yellow-coated duck drew a chainsaw. "Give it to me, and I may let you breathe."   
  
"Sorry," Median lied. "Something, time maybe, has made me forget the code."   
  
The chainsaw started. "Maybe this will jar your memory."   
  
"Why do you want it anyway?"   
  
"To get away from Darkwing Duck. No matter how many crimes I commit, he always shows up to ruin it. A proof of Isaac Newduck's law that every action has an equal and opposite reaction."   
  
"I thought you hated laws."   
  
"What do you think I'm trying to accomplish by killing that goody two-shoes?!" Negaduck growled. "He stranded me in this universe!"   
  
Median didn't look impressed. "You can't be from another universe!"   
  
"Last time I checked, I was Supreme Ruler of the Negaverse St. Canard."   
  
"That's impossible!" sputtered the physicist. "If that were true, you wouldn't be able to exist in this universe!"   
  
"Well, I exist! Deal with it!" The chainsaw came closer.   
  
Median tried to keep his voice from trembling. "Ha. I'm the only one who knows the code. Hurt me, and you're out of luck."   
  
The implement stopped. Negaduck groaned and tossed it aside. "I've got to remember to fill the gas tank when it gets down to half-empty. Not so fast!" He grabbed the physicist's neck. "If I can't have it, nobody can."   
  
"How can I tell you if you're holding my windpipe?" squeaked Median.   
  
Tighter squeeze. "Didn't you forget?"   
  
"I remember! I remember! Just let go!"   
  
Negaduck obeyed, then ran to the control panel.   
  
"It's zero-four-one-one-nine-three!" lied Median.   
  
Negaduck punched the sequence in. Nice try, the machine read. "A phony!" He reached into his jacket and pulled out the same knife Neutralduck had thrown at him. What a cruel irony, he thought. "I'll give you one last chance, Mr. Gray. Or should I say, Neutralduck? Give me the real code. Or else."   
  
"Or else what?"   
  
"I'll turn on this devilish device and suck the code from your brain!"   
  
"All right! It's zero-five-one-nine-eight-six."   
  
Negaduck typed the code in. Correct, the machine read. Please enter equation of destination. "The Negaverse would probably be the same equation with a different function. But is it cosine, tangent, secant, or cotangent?"   
  
"Should have paid more attention in math class," was Median's only response.   
  
"In retrospect, maybe shooting my trig teacher was a bad idea." Negaduck grabbed the physicist and pulled him into the machine. "You're coming to make sure this machine doesn't strand me between dimensions!"   
  
The door opened. "Not so fast, Negadope!" Darkwing attempted to tackle his diabolical double, but Negaduck twisted to the left. The two ducks slammed into the machine, the glass door clicking into place. The three ducks were scrunched inside the device, which was only the size of a phone booth. Median tried to help Darkwing up, but Negaduck reached over and hit a function button. Cosine.   
  
The machine sputtered and vibrated. The clear-glass windows fogged over and became opaque. The three ducks were crushed together when the box-like device spun.  
  
After several minutes, the dimension machine stopped. The windows became clear once again.   
  
Negaduck reached into his pocket and drew out a smoke bomb. Red smoke filled the booth-like device. "Sayonara, saps!" He shoved open the glass door and ran out.   
  
When the smoke cleared, Darkwing surveyed the area. The warehouse they were in was identical to the one they had just left, albeit cleaner. He poked his head out the window. "Yup. Definitely the Negaverse." The city was a lot cleaner and the buildings were less run down than the first time he had seen it, but it was still recognizable.   
  
Median was staring at the control panel. "So the Negaverse is the complementary function, and the Posiverse is the inverse function. Makes sense."   
  
Darkwing drew out the garment bag. "I brought your costume."   
  
Median took it and went into a broom closet. He emerged, as Neutralduck. "Good idea, though I fail to see how it'll help."   
  
"No time for that. We have to find Negaduck."   
  
"And that'll be easy?"   
*********************************************************************************   
Back in the Normalverse, Launchpad twiddled his thumbs. "Shouldn't DW be back by now?"   
  
Gosalyn drummed her fingers on the table. "Just who was that masked duck anyway?"   
  
Honker slid the magazine across the surface. "See for yourself."   
  
The redhead looked at the photo. "Median Gray? How can you be sure?"   
  
"I quoted from his paper to test Neutralduck. He flinched."   
  
"Forget becoming a research scientist. Honk, you'd make a great detective!"   
  
"I try."   
**************************************************************  
Negaduck, now dressed in a red shirt and black sweater, knocked on the door of a small house. He had taken the subway from St. Canard to the nearby city of Anatidaeopolis.   
  
The door opened a creak. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's me, Dad."   
  
The door opened all the way. "Quick, Drake! Before someone sees us!"   
  
Negaduck entered, closing the door behind him. "Long time, no see."   
  
"What happened?" The Negaverse Ruddy Mallard looked exactly like his Normalverse counterpart, down to the graying red-brown locks. Only this Ruddy was wearing gray dress pants, a white shirt, and a long black trenchcoat.   
  
"Would you believe I was stuck in another universe?"   
  
"No, really. What happened?"   
  
"You're home!" came a female voice. The Nega-Anatina, feather-hair loose and flowing to complement her blue jeans, red blouse, and brown leather jacket. An antique pistol was tucked in a holster at her waist. "What brings you here?" She brought her beak close to her son's cheek.   
  
Negaduck pushed her away. "Cut the sap, Mumsie. I've really been stranded in another universe, and one of my enemies happened to end up here. I intend to break the machine that brought us both over and move in for the kill.   
  
"Do to him what he did to you?" observed Nega-Anatina.   
  
"Precisely. Are you going to help me, or am I on my own?"   
  
"You know I never say no to a challenge," replied Nega-Ruddy.   
  
TBC 


	8. Balance Prevails

In the Normalverse, Darkwing's companions were still at the Tower.   
  
Gosalyn had told the others what her grandparents had revealed. "This kid was bad news since the moment he hatched."   
  
Launchpad scratched his head. "Gos, remember the tron splitter?"   
  
"How could I forget? The bad one threatened to ground me into hamburger for breaking the statue!"   
  
"But we put them back together in the end," added the pilot.  
  
"No thanks to Megavolt," grumbled Gosalyn. "Anyway, Grandma--" It felt strange saying the word. "Identified Negaduck as the other twin."   
  
Launchpad shrugged. "I guess they mean it when they say truth is stranger than fiction."   
  
Honker ruminated on the subject for a few minutes. "Mr. Mallard's bad side and the Negaduck we know aren't the same. Just similar. Median Gray's theory that there are two universes parallel to ours. In one, the matter is completely composed of positrons and in the other, everything is negatrons."   
  
"So you're saying that Negaduck is from the negatron universe?" asked Gosalyn.   
  
"I didn't say that. My guess is that he's from this universe. You see, our universe's matter has both positrons and negatrons. If someone from the Negaverse entered this one, they'd be wiped out because the positrons of our matter would attack it. If someone from this universe went to the Negaverse, the native negatrons would want to annihilate the foreign positrons were it not for the foreign negatrons to prevent the natives from considering the new matter an enemy. It makes sense when you consider complementarity."   
  
The redheaded duckling rolled her eyes. "You're talking philosophy now?"   
  
"I mean it. Even emulate the idea. The electrons have a negative charge, the protons have a positive charge. What prevents the protons from repelling one another -- like charges repel -- is the neutrons, which have no charge. The one exception is hydrogen, which has only one proton--"   
  
"Honk, would you mind saying that in English?" interrupted Launchpad.   
  
"What does this have to do with Negaduck anyway?"   
  
"I suppose Jake Mallard fell into a portal to the Negaverse accidentally and assumed the identity of their Drake Mallard."   
  
"But what happened to the Negaverse Drake?" Launchpad inquired.   
  
The nine year old genius frowned. "Do you want me to answer that? Anyway, Negaduck is not pure evil, since pure evil cannot exist in this world. He'll never reach the level of psychosis exhibited by your dad's galvanized 'evil side', but he'll come pretty close. Like the branch of a hyperbola approaching its asymptote. You should read the paper. If something somehow got stuck in dimensional limbo, it would automatically be sent back to the universe of origin--" Honker stopped short.   
  
"Zzz..." Gosalyn and Launchpad snored.   
**********************************************************************************  
Darkwing himself was perched on the Audubon Bay Bridge, observing the Negaverse St. Canard through his binoculars. He and Neutralduck had split up, hoping to cover more ground. After checking the Tower, he'd found it empty.   
  
Neutralduck was climbing the supports, panting. "I wasn't built for this."   
  
"No sign of Negs?"   
  
"None. But I did find something interesting."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I looked through the records, and found no evidence of myself ever existing. On September 7 of the year in question, St. Canard General Hospital only had one birth. A Drake Mallard. It supports a corollary to my theory.That neutrality cannot exist in these two parallel worlds. That one force is always dominant."   
  
Darkwing was barely even listening. He caught a flash of yellow near the warehouse. "Negaduck at four o' clock! Let's get dangerous!"   
*************************************************************  
Nega-Anatina bolted the doors of the warehouse shut before sinking into a chair.   
  
Negaduck leaped into her lap, pouting. "And no matter what I do, Darkwing Duck won't get out of my feathers! I tried getting some of his other enemies to help, but when are those four going to make up their minds?! With one hand, they can raise unparalleled havoc and with the other, they surrender and settle for less than total victory! Ambivalence, pah! Who needs it? Not me!"   
  
Nega-Ruddy looked questionably at the dimension machine. "You want to destroy this thing?"   
  
"Just pull out a few wires. In case I want to take over Darkwing's St. Canard. And with him out of the picture, who'll stop me? But not until after I've taken back this one. Or we've taken it back."   
  
Ruddy yanked out several of the colored wires. "Those were pretty good years for all three of us."   
  
Negaduck laughed his trademark evil cackle. "And the juvenile detention courts thought they could reform me by forcing me to be a boy scout! Oh, if I only had a camera to record Scotty Whitefeatherson's face when I aimed my popgun straight ahead instead of upward during the twenty-one popgun salute! He almost seemed relieved when I got kicked out for stealing merit badges. Ol' Whitefeatherson was such a goody two-shoes. Got him shot in the back when he was investigating an underworld crime ring. I didn't do it, but I know who did. Thy name was Vladimir Gryzlikoff."   
  
"Almost makes me appreciate the normal, legalistic Gryzlikoff," Darkwing muttered from the air vent. He was listening in on the conversation, waiting for an opportunity to jump down. He couldn't quite see Negaduck's two accomplices.   
  
"I was a wreck the day your father and I were arrested," sighed Nega-Anatina.   
  
"You were hysterical!" corrected Nega-Ruddy.   
  
"And then I managed to break you out," Negaduck finished. "The police would definitely be hunting me down, so I found this outfit in a trunk of clothing in the 527 Avian Way hideout."   
  
Darkwing opened the vent and released a blue smoke bomb. "I am the terror --" he stopped short. Mom? Dad?   
  
Negaduck smirked as he climbed the stairs to the roof.   
  
Nega-Anatina drew her pistol. "So you're the one who's been giving my darling boy trouble!"   
  
Nega-Ruddy took an ugly-looking dagger from the folds of his trenchcoat. "It's crimefighters like you who are making the world a lousy place to live for criminals like us!"   
  
Darkwing backed away and fumbled for his gas gun. They're not my parents. They're not my parents. He threw the empty gun at Nega-Anatina. It struck her hard on the right shoulder, making her drop her own firearm and clutch her clavicle.  
  
Nega-Ruddy dropped his knife and rushed to comfort his wife.   
  
Darkwing ran up the stairs. "I suggest you surrender, Negaduck!" There was the distant sound of sirens. "While I was busy with your conniving conspirators, Neutralduck was calling the police."   
  
"The police are useless. You've said so yourself." The yellow-jacketed duck leaped angrily toward his rival. They tussled on the rooftop, neither noticing the edge. Suddenly, Darkwing stopped and tried to back away. The warehouse was only about four stories, but the ground beneath was solid concrete. If falling didn't mean certain death, it would be at the least very painful.   
  
Negaduck flopped over, nearly falling. He grabbed the ledge in time.   
  
Immediately, Darkwing grabbed his archrival's hands. He disliked the idea of saving the very duck who tried to kill him so many times, but even Negaduck deserved a fair trial. The crimefighter attempted to pull, but was met with resistance. The burning hatred in his nemesis' eyes made him realize that Negaduck was pulling back. The hero let go. Didn't mean to; it just happened.   
  
The yellow-jacketed duck fell four stories before landing neatly in Neutralduck's arms, who threw him down.   
  
"I'd rather have hit the pavement!" spat Negaduck, just before striking his head on the pavement.   
  
Darkwing rushed down the fire escape stairs. "Let's get him back home before he comes to." They lifted the supervillain together and went inside.   
  
Neutralduck went to the machine and re-plugged in the wires. "The other two fled when they heard the sirens."   
  
Darkwing picked up his gas gun. "They were the Negaverse analogues of my parents."   
  
"If my birth parents are anything like that, I don't want to know." Neutralduck set the equation. Four, exponent ninety-one times the sine of nine x plus seven. "By any chance did your mother lay a dud egg?"   
  
"I think I heard my Dad mention one..." Darkwing stopped short.   
  
"Nurse Ash Gray adopted a late hatcher. This is awkward."   
  
"You don't say."   
  
"I guess that makes us brothers," the bluecoat commented as the machine started.   
  
"Yeah, but maybe we should keep it between us. It'd be too weird to explain."   
  
"Too weird? This from a guy whose enemies can manipulate the entire Plantae kingdom at will, turn themselves into living tidal waves, and contain enough voltage to light New Duck City? But you're right. What am I supposed to say? Hi, guess what? Your dud egg wasn't a dud? Perhaps it's better this way."   
****************************************************************************  
Negaduck's eyes opened. His head was throbbing. "Last time I had a headache like this was when Darkwing closed the portal on me." He had lost consciousness and waken up in St. Canard General Hospital's Emergency Room. Syncope, unknown cause. The nurse had made a sarcastic comment: "I really love helping the bad guys."   
  
Now he was in a jail cell.   
  
"Oh, Public Enemy Number Two!" came the obnoxiously cheerful voice of a guard. "You have a couple of visitors!"   
  
Negaduck was tempted to do some life-altering damage to the guard, but he had apparently been searched for weapons while he was out. Besides, his curiosity was getting the better of him. "Who?"   
  
"Your parent!"   
  
Negaduck felt the ice water in his veins curdle. On the other side of the security glass were Ruddy and Anatina Mallard. The Normalversions.   
  
Anatina spoke first. "I can't believe I recognize you after all these years, Jake."   
  
"Don't call me that!" was the indignant reply.   
  
"Is that any way to speak to your mother?" asked the guard.   
  
Negaduck spat in the guard's eye. "She's not my mother!"   
  
"You've pretty much proved it," observed Ruddy. "Our son learned to spit with deadly accuracy at a very young age. Fine place that behavior got you."   
  
"Ooh, what are you going to do? Send me to my room?"   
  
"If you ever want to reform--" began Anatina.   
  
Negaduck's voice could be heard clear through the foot-thick glass. "I like myself the way I am!"   
  
The guard winced. "For once in your life, can't you be a gentleduck?"   
  
The supervillain's response was to prove he was no gentleduck.   
  
The guard wiped his other eye. "Warden Waddlesworth, I'd like a transfer to Aquatraz."   
  
The visitors turned to leave.   
  
"Goodbye for now," called Ruddy.   
  
Anatina blew a kiss.   
  
"Take me back to my cell!" growled Negaduck to his guard. "Now!"   
  
"Happy to oblige," the guard snarled.   
  
Negaduck threw himself on the cot. "The nerve of him! Throwing me in jail and embarrassing me with the counterparts of my parents! They claimed to be..." He stopped short. Could it be true? His earliest memories were hazy, but in one memory his mother was scolding him for choking the neighbor's cat and in another one, his mother was congratulating him for picking the neighbor's pocket. Could he have been born in this universe and ended up in the Negaverse? One thing was certain. "I didn't think it was possible, but I hate Darkwing Duck even more! If you thought I was bad news before, just wait until I break out!"   
********************************************************************************  
Finally home, Drake sank happily in a chair. "You'll keep my occupation a secret, right?"  
  
"Of course," replied Ruddy. "Though I still think you should have become an architect and taken over the business."   
  
Gosalyn waved a packet of photograph negatives in the air. "I took these from your baby album, Dad. I'm sure Morgana will enjoy seeing them!"  
  
Drake leaped up. "Don't you dare, young lady!"   
  
Gosalyn ran upstairs, pursued by her father. "Not unless you catch me!"   
  
"Energetic little tyke," commented Ruddy while Anatina laughed.   
  
Launchpad shrugged. "You wouldn't believe what I witness sometimes."   
  
"You get used to it," Honker muttered. "Somewhat."   
  
"Gosalyn Marilyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard! Let me have those!"   
  
"Aw, come on, Dad! Have a sense of humor!"   
  
The end. 


End file.
